Kiss Me
by Hetabee
Summary: A RusGer fic for a Crack Pairing Contest I won. Speaking of that, the story is ongoing and still in-progress so it's not really finished, but I'm leaving it as complete until I can write it out. The side pairing is PruCan, courtesy of my fabulous Canada RPing buddy and co-writer of the main story, Otaku Kid1996. Also, a warning: prepare for the feels! This is not a drill.


The last thing Germany heard before fleeing for his life was the metallic clang of something striking a wall and an unnerving, yet childlike voice following him down what seemed like an endless hallway. He was running away from the insane Russian because he wouldn't stop carrying him around like he was some blushing bride and it was disturbing him greatly.

This had all started when Germany was minding his own business, hunched over a thick stack of paperwork he was to complete by the morning, trying (and failing) to get the image of the person his brother brought home out of his head. He sighed for what felt like the millionth time that hour, taking off his reading glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose.

How could he focus on his nation's issues when he couldn't sort out his own?

As if his day couldn't get any worse, the power cut off without warning, plunging the exasperated man into pitch darkness. Prussia probably forgot to pay the electric bill. Again.

Heaving a tortured sigh, the German fumbled around his room for a few minutes before finding the doorframe and slowly going down the stairs as not to break his neck since he needed that to breathe. What he really needed was to breathe and calmly strangle the source of his problems right now. His brother had quite a bit of explaining to do.

Carefully stepping off the last stair, Germany began walking towards the direction he estimated the kitchen to be when he bumped into a solid form in front of him. Not being able to see it, he assumed it was a wall but something about that was off. A.) Walls don't 'Oof!' when you hit them and B.) walls certainly don't have arms that could grab you and pull you away with them.

Well, that's what this wall was doing right now.

He had no choice but to follow it as it was holding his wrist at a dangerous degree, not seeming to want him to go for some odd reason. He sighed again, wondering why he couldn't send Prussia to a retirement home and check on him when he felt like it. That way he would have peace and all of the money he earned in his wallet. Then he remembered why he couldn't do that. He would have to answer to France and Spain while avoiding Italy because we all know they would bring him over just to guilt trip him. The arschlochs...

Suddenly, the wall, as we're going to refer to it as, stopped walking and let go of his throbbing wrist. The blonde German rubbed it in relief once it was released, still unsure of what was going on. Is the wall reconsidering taking him or what?

"I normally don't do something as nice as this, but since you are huffing and puffing, I feel like I should." the wall spoke, the tight grip on his wrist now on his back and shoulders instead. This obviously startled him as he was lifted off of the ground by strong arms, hands immediately grabbing the closest anchor (which happened to be a coat sleeve) so he didn't fall.

"Don't worry," the wall tried reassuring him, "I won't let you fall, Germany." this made him tense instinctively.

How could this wall know his name? Better question: how could it even talk?

He continued to think these troubling thoughts over whilst the wall casually strolled on, like it could see in the darkness, when it stopped for the second time in fifteen minutes.

"Hey, I know this is kind of awkward and all but I need you to trust me for a second, okay?" the wall asked. Germany furrowed his brows in confusion.

"What are you talking abou-?" he began when he found that those strong arms that were carrying him before had vanished and he was steadily plummeting to the ground. He winced, bracing himself for the pain to follow when he felt his body lift off of the ground again, being held closely by the wall who was saying something.

"Forgive me but I must be doing that three more times unless you prefer the darkness, my sunflower." the wall whispered sweetly as Germany's heart thumped irregularly from the shot of adrenaline. Sunflower? What was this weird wall doing anyway?

The German shook his head, figuring it was best not to know. For the next thirty minutes, the process of dropping and catching him did happen three more times and by the end of it he still felt short of breath.

Damn wall, who did it think it was almost dropping him like that. If only he could see it...

The wall stood firmly in place once it was finished doing whatever it was doing, seemingly waiting for something to happen. Maybe it was turning back into a normal wall, Germany hoped. That hope was all for naught as the lights turned on and the next thing he heard was the all too well-known accent of a certain creepy Russian.

"Hello again~ I see my idea is working nicely~" he said with a voice full of cheer, causing Prussia to stare disbelievingly and his friend to flinch at his sudden appearance, pulling back further into Prussia's hold on him.

"I-idea...? What idea?" Prussia's friend just about whispered, looking down at him, "M-mr. Germany..." Germany believed he could die at that very moment.

"Silly boy, do you not have the good memory? I told you that I was going to help you and so I cut off Germany's power. He was not in the very high spirits when I found him, mumbling something about bills and retirement homes for Prussia. I took pity on him and so I carried him around as I hooked the power switches back together again. It was really fun!" Russia smiled serenely, taking one of his big hands and messing his hair up further.

"Ugh... Somebody kill me. Please." he thought aloud, looking at Prussia with a frown and seeing that his friend still hadn't changed yet, he moved his gaze skyward. Those shorts left nothing to the imagination. "Russia, can you at least let me down now? It's been over an hour and this is very uncomfortable for me." he said, glaring up at him.

"Uh... This is my fault then... S-sorry, guys..." the quiet nation (was he a nation?) said, turning away and burying his face in Prussia's shoulder. "R-Russia, I still don't get... what you're talking about.. What exactly are you trying to help with? How did it 'work'?" this caused Russia to laugh happily, which is not a pleasant sound if you value your safety.

"You are a little slow in the head, hm? Ha, it doesn't matter if you get it. Just as long as it is working, then you do not need to know what it is I mean," he turned his attention back to Germany, staring at him with those terrifying violet eyes of his, "Come on now, Germany, we're leaving." he could've sworn he heard something yelling 'no', it was probably his mind urging him to say it.

"Leaving? Where? Russia?! RUSSIA?!" he flailed as he was dragged away by a giggling Russia, who turned back at the last minute to say:

"You keep him busy, polar bear. He won't be hearing from his brother for a long time. Isn't that right, Ludwig?" leaving with an unanswered nod and a heavily blushing Germany.

That was all before he could punish Prussia like he needed to. His idiot of an older brother was always spending his money on something stupid. Today, it was from Amazon and not eBay like usual. That didn't mean his purchases were any less stupid though. He had purchased exactly fifty-eight stuffed animals, twenty-seven copies of the same death metal album, fifteen pool floaters, a dozen diamond rings, nine pairs of overpriced skinny jeans and the rest was too stupid for him to process in his still stable mind.

East must think he's just made of money, huh?

If there was one thing he always told his brother to do, it was to stay inside the house where he could immediately know when he was causing trouble and give out an equal punishment for it. Instead, what he got was music blasting from the basement at all hours of the night, uninvited moochers trying to drink his beer, nonstop headaches and a bunch of cashed out credit cards that he never touched himself.

He knew his brother meant no harm in his fairly legal practices of wiping several of his bank accounts clean, but there was only so much one man could take before he wanted to commit homicide by scarf. It would be easy too, Prussia had boughten plenty of them.

The creaking of floorboards made Germany jerk in alarm, as he was thrown back into the reality of being lost in the expansive mansion belonging to the maniac who wouldn't leave him alone. Anxiously, he looked behind him to find no one there. He quickly sped up his pace as much as his body would allow, not daring to trust the calm enviornment he found himself trapped in.

Russia must be close by.

He knew it. He had to be. It was his house for God's sake!

Choosing to run even faster than a fleeing Italian, Germany turned a sharp corner into another hallway. This one was darker than the last one, a little dusty from the lack of upkeep and one of its many doors was parted open slightly for him to see something blinking in the background.

He should have kept on his goal of finding an exit or the stairway or anything else, but he found himself curious to see what the Russian might be hiding in there.

_I mean, he obviously must not use this hallway anymore since it's so filthy_, he thought reasonably.

With an air of uncertainty, the German slowly crept into the mysterious room and inspected its less dusty contents. All he could see was a vast collection of coats thrown into the middle of the floor, what looked to be military books on the Cold War that were more worn out than his own on WWII, but the most interesting thing he discovered was a row of monitors displaying countless scenes from around the globe. It sat above a myriad of flashing buttons and levers with writing in this strange language he couldn't decipher. What was this language? Well, obviously it had to be-

"...Russian..." he mused to himself, not noticing the faint creaking of the door's hinges to the side of him.

"You called?" replied the same childlike voice he had been dreading to hear all this time, the Russian laughing boyishly at his surprised reaction while running his fingers through his hair. Germany hastily pulled away from the contact.

"Russia! What is the meaning of this?" Germany demanded in what he thought was an intimidating tone, motioning to the flickering pictures on the monitor screens and shooting a heated glare at the other's smiling face. He was not going to let the Russian think he was weak by admitting he was scared of him, even if that was the teensiest, tiniest bit true. Never, not ever. Russia directed his gaze to the monitors and laughed shortly.

"Oh, those. They are just my security cameras for when I'm not at my home." he said simply as the German reviewed some of the camera's footage more thoroughly.

"But, there are pictures of the World Meeting halls all over the globe here and-is, is that my house?!" he blanched at the images of what was most definitely his house, Prussia sat on his couch with a sad look on his face. Well, at least the America look-alike was finally changing his clothes. He could tell because of the cameras that were also situated in his bathrooms.

"...W-why would you do such a thing as putting cameras in someone's bathroom? Are you sick?!" Russia tilted his head innocently, small frown twisting his perpetually serene face into a cute pout.

"Huh? I thought that was your kind of thing." he said seriously, staring at the other with a bemused expression. Germany almost choked on his own embarrassment.

"D-don't think about me in such a way! Why would you-no, you know what? That's it, I'm leaving.. I can't take much more of this." he was glad it was dark enough in there so that the other couldn't see the blush forming on his cheeks.

"Wait!" the Russian cried, seizing Germany's arm in his iron-clad grip and forcing the other to turn around. The blue-eyed man tried to yank his wrist away, but that made Russia's hold on it grow that much tighter. "I have this problem and you're the only one who can help!"

"Nein, I'm leaving right now and you can't stop me! Russia, I'm serious... Let go this instant!" he resisted with all of his might, but Russia wasn't giving up that easily, using both of his hands to keep the man from leaving. Germany growled angrily, annoyed with the other's persistent ways and sick of not getting any straight answers from him or anyone, really.

This whole week Prussia had been avoiding him, which was bizarre for his usually clingy brother to do. Whenever he would ask what was the matter, his question would be ignored and Prussia would find some excuse to disappear from the room as quickly as possible, leaving Germany to clean whatever mess he left behind and feeling highly upset.

They were brothers, so why wouldn't he tell him what was wrong? Did he... not trust him like he used to? The questions would circle around his mind constantly until he pushed it away for another time, but it was eating him up inside to think his own brother wouldn't trust him. And then there was Russia.

Ever since the fabled waterpark incident, Russia would show up wherever he was for no apparent reason and observe him with a blank stare, like he wanted to say something but couldn't. The Russian wouldn't stop harassing him and asking all kinds of inappropriate questions and asking if they were friends or not, no matter how many times he assured him that they were. He didn't know what his problem was, but if he didn't quit acting so weird he was going to lose his cool.

A sharp tug alerted him to the Russian who was still pulling on his abused wrist, causing the fed up German to snarl menacingly and somehow wrench it out of the other's grip, shocking both Russia and himself but he wasn't done yet. "I don't know what your problem is, but I'd prefer if you left me out of it," Germany began calmly.

"If you thought we were friends before, we certainly aren't now. You're too pushy and irritating to deal with on a weekly basis, yet alone a daily one", he paused to let the information sink in, "I can't stand you and I don't care how frightening you think you are. You're really just a sad, lonely man with a possessive personality that I am no longer dealing with. Tschüss."

Not caring to look back, the German began heading to the open door. To hell with finding an exit, he would jump out of the nearest window if it meant getting out of here right now. He was about to when a muffled sound escaped the room, he sighed and decided to peek in to see what the sound was coming from. What he found was not what he was expecting at all.

In front of the ongoing video feedback from the monitors sat a sobbing Russia, his hands covering his face shamefully as his broad shoulders shook violently and he blubbered pathetically.

"I-I don't know what m-my problem is... I-I look at you and I f-feel so nervous and I don't k-know why...!" his frantic breaths were the only sound to pass between the two until he spoke up again. "I c-can't help but think o-of you, even when I d-don't try to, I-I do.. I don't know what's wrong with me!" he screamed in frustration, his breaths becoming even shallower and labored, prompting Germany to cautiously approach him.

"Russia," he tried putting a hand on the crying man's shoulders, but it was instantly shaken off. "Russia, listen to me. You have to calm down, you're hyperventilating. Just breathe. Please..."

Teary violet eyes opened and closed to see the object of his misplaced affection concerned about him. He was trying to calm him down and the thought of this made his heart swell foolishly, so he nodded in understanding. Inhaling and exhaling deeply for a while, his shuddering breaths gradually came to a steady rate as the German sat on a chair next to him, still with that concerned look on his handsome face.

"Are you breathing alright now, Russia?" Germany asked softly, not wanting Russia to believe that he was still angry. Russia nodded slowly, no longer blinded by tears. Seeing this Germany got up and Russia thought he was leaving for good, when the blue-eyed man came back with one of his old coats, delicately draping it around his shoulders and sitting back down. This confused the former Communist nation and when he turned to the German for an explanation, the other blurted out:

"I saw you shivering and... I couldn't..." he trailed off, only serving to confuse him even more. "What I'm trying to say is that... I'm sorry. I took all of my frustration out on you and it wasn't right. You are my friend, you are not too pushy or irritating, I do like you and you aren't sad. I didn't mean any of that. If you don't ever want to forgive me, I won't blame you though."

Russia didn't know how to feel about the apology, he figured it would be somewhere along the lines of nonchalance or disbelief at the other's gall. This man just made him cry, and for what, to console him mere minutes later? Who does he think he is playing with his heart like that? His mind was chanting for restitution, vengeance and anything above to get what he thought was equal payback for making a fool out of him. And yet...

Powder blue eyes stared back at his own inquisitively, his light blonde hair hanging down his forehead, pink lips parted in such a manner that the Russian couldn't stop looking at them, imagining the feel of them on his own. But his mind urged him to pursue his first thought, the right choice, so he had to do what his mind found to be the rational response.

And yet... His mind couldn't stop him from falling for the other, so what did it know?

He leaned in towards the German and shyly kissed him, the sensation making his brain go to mushy nothingness as he savored the feeling before slowly pulling away, relishing in the shocked expression on Germany's face.

"I'll accept your apology, but only on one condition." Russia stated, his serene aura back in full force. Germany rose an eyebrow, touching his mouth to make sure what happened wasn't all in his head.

"And what is that?" he asked dumbly, unnerved by Russia's sudden change in attitude and close proximity. Russia pulled him in closer, their noses barely touching each other's as he chirped, "Well, kiss me, of course."

Suprisingly, Germany found himself fine with the arrangement as the Russian kissed him passionately, running his big, deft hands all over his body. The two did, however, stop when a very distinct voice interrupted their ministrations.

"He won't. And if he does, who cares? I want him to see. Russia has him and he said I won't be hearing from him for a long time anyway. I know he can keep those kinds of promises." Prussia finished that statement by trailing kisses down the America look-alike's neck.

Germany turned to the monitor the scene was playing on, quickly turning away with a red face and just about had a heart attack. What were they doing on his couch?!

Russia observed the scene before him and chuckled like this was all a good joke, saying, "I knew my idea would work, but I didn't think it would be so effective." Germany gave him an unamused glare but was forced to hold on to the other's shoulders as he carried him away from the monitor room, again, like a blushing bride. Where to, he had no idea.

"Let them have their fun," Russia beamed down at him, "And then you can show them the tapes. That something is your kind of thing, yes?" Germany laughed at the ridiculousness of this all.

"No, it's not." he stated matter-of-factly, squirming as he wasn't used to be carried everywhere yet. Russia pouted once more.

"I will find out what things you like, Германии." Germany smiled in amusement.

"And I look forward to it, Russland, I really do." Russia quit pouting to beam wider at that beautiful, rare smile.

Germany would go discipline his brother some other time. When that didn't work, he would just make Prussia buy him a new couch. And bring Russia over to reinforce his point. Ah, yes. That sounded wonderful.


End file.
